Simply Pretending

One of the most complicated truth is pretending to be someone because it makes things more vague. For what seems real appears not, while what we expect to be fake is rather genuine and absolute.

According to Lawrence Kohlberg's Theory on Human Moral development, when we reach six years of age, we base our decisions as well as our behaviors on others reactions, hence, before doing something, we seek first for others approval due to our fear of committing a mistake. In fact, our parents, teachers and even elders have contributes for us to become presentable and good at all times, even if we know we cannot. Worse, they compare us with others to compel us to comply with what others like us to become.

As a result, it is indeed inevitable that we put ourselves in other shoes- a forerunner of a complex system of pretensions. With these, at our age, my dear friends, the truth is we have been unconsciously pretending for more than a decade or most of our lifetime.

However, who doesn't want to become someone admirable, someone to look for, and someone to be idolized? Who doesn't want to be noticed by others, to be recognized for being knowledgeable, talented and uniquely superior? Who doesn't want to live a life of abundance and richness, totally different from most of our experiences? Everyone wants all the bests in this world. Isn’t? This is the reason why we try to mask ourselves as someone we dream to be nearly perfect.

 Honestly, I myself use to deceive others. I make others believe that I am serious but in truth, easy go lucky at times inside. I play as an adviser, instead of being truly the one to be advised. Others see me childish, immature but if they just happen to read my eyes, a nearly empirical learned young man is what they see. I portray to be sad in times of anger; happy instead of being melancholic, strict and firm but lenient, strong but weak, or even dexterous even partially brain empty inside. I pretend to be merciful but sinful, free but slave, slave but free, humble but proud and shy even not. I pretend to be someone but just somebody. I pretend to be pretending but I am true!

When I pretend, I feel superior in what I want to be. However, at the end of very pretension, I felt so exhausted for it felt like riding a Ferris wheel in a carnival- only short-lived ups and downs! With these, I realize I will not endure pretending anymore. I want to quit but I guess it’s part of me-my other side, which my heart can tolerate no longer.

I continuously assume until I forget who myself is and further regret. I regret because while I was pretending, I was unaware that everybody were eager to know and meet the real me!
 Be real! - Others say but for me this is not enough. Be real... to others, but even more to YOURSELF. Yes, NO one is ABSOLUTELY real in this world but if YOU continuously pretend as if everything seems unreal- that's the exemption.

Remember that only the real you will permanently build that confidence you once felt in one of your pretensions. However, pretensions provide anyone an immediate shield of one self but as one hide in this sort of self-armor, we never knew, we have slowly destroyed the real person inside the person who smiles, laughs and stares on somebody at this moment.

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